Getting Unstuck

Are you wanting to shift who you are being? Or how you are reacting?

Oftentimes people come to me because they want to make big changes in their lives but feel stuck. I often tell people that change is often two steps forward and one step back. When we have a pattern in our life,  especially one we may have been doing for many months or years, it can take time to completely change that pattern. However, any small steps you make toward the change you desire, especially when coupled with a strong intention to change, is more powerful than you think. When we start to observe ourselves and make new choices, then even small new choices made over time can have a powerful and lasting change and even start to change our brain chemistry.

So, begin to see that baby steps lead to greater and greater change over time, and that these small changes are cumulative and can lead to greater success, harmony, emotional balance, health, depending on what you’re working toward, over time. If you really understand this, it will be easier for you to initiate change.

People sometimes ask me what helps with motivation or procrastination and I often tell them that it’s these smaller steps rather than taking huge steps that is often the best for people. The other thing that is helpful to remember is that if you have a setback and get out of a new habit that you’re really wanting to continue, the sooner you make peace with and forgive yourself for that, the easier it will be to create space to go back and begin the new habit, or lifestyle you are working with.  So, these small steps are cumulative and add up over time.

Also, bringing one’s attention back to the present moment is also so important. Because in each present moment is where we have all our power. We can only choose in the present moment. So, our choice to choose something new is only always in the present moment. In each moment we have the opportunity to choose which direction we’d like to go but we often overlook the power we have in the moment thinking our next small choice won’t make much difference. 

What often helps people to get unstuck is to notice that in those moments of feeling stuck, you may not really be present. You may be in the fight or flight mode which makes it harder to be present and notice what options you may have. In those moments especially you may revert back to your limiting beliefs and thoughts like:

  • My life will never change
  • I’m not worthy of (and fill in the blank)________
  • I’m never going to have what I want…. Whether that’s money, relationships, health, etc.
  • I’m always_______
  • I’m never________

Sometimes the familiar ways of feeling stuck are hard to break out of because they’re familiar and feel safe to us even though we don’t like them. We are always telling ourselves limiting stories about what’s possible and what’s not. Limiting beliefs can come from developmental experiences we had in the past or even from programming on TV. We often want to be like everyone else so we can fit in and we may even suffer because we think that is what we’re supposed to do. 

We can begin to change those limiting stores one belief at a time.

Some of the ways you can begin to get unstuck are: 

Become come present to what is going on in those moments when you’re stressed and maybe caught in a negative loop. Take a few deep breaths and begin to notice the environment around you. Sense your senses, smell the smells around you, hear the sounds, notice the colors and shapes and textures, I know this may sound counter intuitive because in those moments you may just want to push yourself, or give up, or go to an addiction. Also, see if you can accept your current situation for the moment as it is. This is not resignation, because acceptance even though you may not like what’s happening, can help you open up to the moment where new ideas and perspectives may emerge for you. And then you can begin moment by moment to take new inspired action. Becoming empowered is knowing that you can make a shift in any moment. In fact, you can catch yourself when you start to feel defeated.

Set an intention to see options and possibilities, see if you can zoom out and view your problems from a wider lens. Begin to get curious and open your awareness with the intention of listening for new insights and possibilities, and then begin to take inspired action

Sometimes however very strong emotions about a situation can be overpowering and come from a past experience and trigger you in a way that will be hard to get out. And if that’s the case, you may even need to get help from someone to heal and process that part.

Especially in these challenging times, be gentle with yourself as you move towards becoming unstuck, as more intense emotions and feelings, of hopelessness, may be more likely to come to the surface for some. The good news is that none of us are meant to stay stuck. We are here to evolve and realize our potential.