Blossoming into your authentic self

What limiting beliefs are you holding onto that aren’t really yours in the first place? What have you believed about yourself, because someone else told you something that wasn’t even true but was their projection?

Maybe you want to start something new but feel you don’t know enough, or believe you’re too old or too young, or not smart enough. Maybe you believed you had to fit into the status quo, or your parents who said you had to be a doctor, or marry the boy next store. Maybe you’re wanting to make some big changes in your life but are afraid of what others may think, whether that’s changing your career, coming out as gay or trans, or even wanting to go for a promotion.

Maybe you’re afraid to fail or afraid to succeed. Maybe you’re afraid to have more perceived happiness or financial success than others.

A lot of the times people are waiting to feel validated on the outside before feeling they can take action.

One of my favorite quotes is this:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”.  Anais Nin

In essence, where have you given your power away to keep you smaller than you truly are? We have all received certain conditioning that gave us the idea that we weren’t enough the way we were or that we needed to do it better than we did, or that making mistakes wasn’t acceptable, or we shouldn’t stand out too much. Or that others have the answers, but we don’t.

What does holding onto these limiting beliefs and points of view give you? Maybe it makes you feel safe because you don’t have to take a chance and step outside your normal comfort zone. 

How would you show up if you knew you were enough? How would you live if you weren’t afraid to fail or afraid of what others thought? And what if you knew you were totally worthy and didn’t need anyone else’s approval to feel self-love and self-worth? What would authentically being you look like?

If your answer is you don’t know, begin to start to give yourself permission to notice what dreams or inclinations or passions you have but have not followed for one reason or another. You may be living in a box that is too narrow or too small. A lot of our conditioning in society tells us we have to reject parts of ourselves to fit in. We have been programmed by a variety of mediums including TV, the internet, our schools, and whoever told you what it means to be successful. Some of the goals you have, may be coming from a deep longing underneath to just be loved and accepted. If you resonate with that, then there is an opportunity to look at your life and see where that is true and where you may want to begin to question your choices and begin to make new ones. Be patient with yourself. Being conditioned from birth as we all are, it can take a while to discover your more authentic self. In the process of trying to look good on the outside or trying to please others, you may have inadvertently denied the unique beauty and identity, and talents that lie within you. 

Over time you can learn to take your power back from those you may have given it away to. If you’re waiting for someone else to validate your experience or choices, it may be time to begin to validate your own experience no matter how different it may be from others. 

And even though we can never truly separate out all of our conditioning, everything is part of our growth and individuation process so none of this is wrong, it’s all just an opportunity to become more in alignment with the more authentic parts of you. Not, from a place of perfectionism but from a place of curiosity, and a desire for expansion and growth. From our soul’s perspective, everything is unfolding in and happening in a divine order. 

You may be holding onto an identity that you’re not enough, inadequate, or lacking in some way. You may be comparing yourself to everyone else in society that seems to have it better than you. But what needs to happen is to fall back into yourself with the love and acceptance that you seek from those outside yourself, and begin to meet those parts of yourself with compassion, and affirmation. Begin to ask yourself what deeply matters to you. What does success look like for you? What do you value and what is most alive in you now? What are you passionate about? What new steps are you wanting to take now and in what direction? Each day is a new day where we can begin again with new choices.